What is a Bully?

At the school meeting yesterday, the mother of the child I refer to as “a bully” mentioned how she was told about this blog and my understanding is that it makes her unhappy and/or uncomfortable to see the label I have given her son. Me blogging about this incident also has made people uncomfortable. Will I stop blogging about this? Should I stop? No and no. 

Yes, I have referred to the other boy in my posts as a bully. As you know, I use no names when it comes to any of the other parties. 

Moms Fighting Bullying is a new site. My intention was not to make this a local blog and it is not. Bullying is a global crisis.

98% of people reading this blog actually are from other parts of the country and the world (hello to my new readers I see are actually visiting from Hong Kong)! On my primary blog, Chic & Green, I also shared my story. I have done so because that is the blog I have worked on day in and day out for 4.5 years and I am frank with my readership. Again, no names were ever mentioned. No names will be mentioned. Only 30-35% of readers are local. I also have not given this child’s name to other parents other than my closest friends and others who have heard about it from their own kids in my son’s class who were aware of what went on that day.

I mean not to offend anyone. ALL people deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and this other child’s parents are no different.  I really feel that this child’s mom believes in her heart that her child isn’t a bully. I will not be removing my posts, nor will I stop letting my voice be heard when it comes to this issue. I will continue to talk about this.

I am quite sure the other mom would do the same if she were in my shoes. 

When your child has been bullied, it truly breaks away little pieces of your heart one at a time.  You can’t fall asleep without thinking of what happened, or worse, what could have happened. Sometimes you feel helpless. Other times you realize that you have to take what happened and instead of dwelling on it, take what has happened and attempt to do good and try to push for changes so other children are not bullied. When your happy go lucky child is sitting in a hospital bed at the ER with a huge egg coming out of his forehead and is in pain, it changes you in many ways.

I believe that we all have to be our children’s best advocates. We have to fight for our children. I am fighting for my child.  As members of a community as a whole, I feel we need to look out for all children and make sure they feel safe and secure. And that is my intention.

“Bully” can be a strong word. I get that.  However, when one conducts the actions described below, that person would be considered a bully, right?

Today, I would like to talk about what a bully actually is.

Here’s the definition, according to Merriam-Webster:

3 bully verb
bul·lied bul·ly·ing

Definition of BULLY

transitive verb

1: to treat abusively
2: to affect by means of force or coercion

intransitive verb
: to use browbeating language or behavior
: bluster

Synonyms: brutalize, abuse, ill-treat, ill-use, kick around, maltreat, manhandle, mess over [slang], mishandle, mistreat, misuse

My son clearly has been bullied.  If we look at the above actions, the person performing these actions would then be a bully.

I am sorry if me blogging about this has made people uncomfortable. Watching my son suffer makes me uncomfortable.

*I’ll write more at length about what happened at school with the meeting early next week. Was I satisfied? Truth be told, when someone faces no consequences for something this serious, it bugs me. “Bugs me” actually doesn’t even cover it. An acceptable resolution did not occur. I feel like the solution was like putting mailing tape over a water main break…


3 thoughts on “What is a Bully?

  1. Although all 6 of our kids are grown and out of the nest, I have heard this same statement from so many parents that some schools fail miserably at resolving these issues. Almost to the point of sweeping this issue under the carpet. Something needs to be done so I am so glad you are addressing this issue. I truly hope you will make a difference by posting about this ongoing issue that these kids go through and making more parents aware. I had originally posted my two cents and found I had two typos so I had to delete and repost 🙂 Thank you for posting about this ongoing problem!

  2. Lulu,Thank you for your note. I really do believe that the schools are failing when it comes to this issue, just as you said. I truly had high hopes that our district would be different and ADDRESS it rather than try to make like it never happened.

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